Ashley's note about life at this point 2/11/08

Today marks a big day for me. I am officially in my 3rd trimester! I can't believe this time has gone so fast, I will have a baby in my arms in less than 12 weeks, I will be full term in 8-9. I thought I would share a story about a dream I had before I found out it was a girl.

In my dream I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl with amazing blue eyes and light brown hair. Due to complications I had to have a C-section and this lady decided to take it upon herself to help me take care of my baby. This lady kept taking her though! Like, ALL THE TIME! Because I was still healing I couldn't drive or do much of anything; I was so miserable! All I wanted was my baby girl, and this lady kept taking her! I remember telling Spencer (In my dream) that all I wanted was our baby girl in my arms, I hadn't even held her once. I knew the lady was just just trying to help, but people were starting to think MY BABY was hers! I was so mad! Finally, our baby was with us, and at this point in the dream she was big enough to sit up... my dream skipped ahead a few months... I even remember she was sitting on my parents old brown couch. People kept coming over and telling me what and amazing smile she had and how cute she was. They'd ask me what her name was and I'd tell them, Alice Marie, never up to that point had I thought of that name, but that was it. Mind you, we didn't even know what it was at this point!

One of the most vivid points was when everyone was telling me how beautiful she was, I look at her and she was just smiling at me. I couldn't pick her up though! I really wanted to! I won't forget the amount of love I had for her though! I imagine that feeling will only get stronger.

So that was my dream. When I was saying my prayers that night I was expressing a sincere desire to feel a connection with our baby. All these women kept on telling me about these amazing connections they felt with their babies when they were pretty early in their pregnancies... I felt like a lamo because the only big connection I felt was nausea and extreme tiredness, I mean I was excited and I still am, I would daydream about it all the time... But I wasn't showing, not everyone knew for sure that I was pregnant... I am sure people wondered why I looked bloated... But anyway... I just wanted the connection. Needless to say, I got! Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it!