Recently, I learned that the way my family and I have jumped on the homebirthing and plant-based diet bandwagons has offended some people. For this I am terribly sorry. Too often, I express my opinion in an I-am-right-you-are-wrong kind of way, without realizing it. I had a once dear friend undergo a c-section due to complications during labor. I didn't fully understand her complications at the time and assumed the Dr's were to blame for her c-section. I was very irritated and concerned that the c-section, like sooo many others, was a result of 'unnecessary' hospital interventions. Anyway, long story short, the way I asked my questions was misconstrued into pride and a holier-than-thou type attitude. Her story was legitimate, and the entire reason c-sections are necessary in the first place. Not all women who have c-sections are 'victims' of modern medicine, but too many are, this was not the case with my former friend. I know that now. And thank goodness she prayed and felt completely impressed that she needed to have her baby at a hospital. Early on in our pregnancies I was talking about my desire to homebirth and I remember her commending me for it but telling me, even then, that she knew she needed to be at a hospital. It is easy to understand why now. She is a huge advocate for natural birthing and I was devastated to learn that her c-section resulted in no possibility for VBAC's since they had to cut her uterus twice. I was fishing to find out if she really deserved this outcome. I mean, for any other woman who doesn't really think twice about 'how' her baby enters this world just that it does and is healthy, I wouldn't have been so concerned. But this person was the first person to really put the idea of natural birthing into my mind and was so well educated on the whole subject. I was devastated to find out she would no longer be able to experience something she was so passionate about, mainly because I thought she would have been devastated. Of course, the fact that she and her baby would have died otherwise brought peace to the situation, but still, I just wished she didn't have to go through that.
I have my opinions on vaccinations, diet, birthing, raising children, but they are not across the board nor doctrine. These opinions have been derived from countless hours of research and praying and advice from doctors, herbalists, friends, and family. Mainly the praying though. We have found OUR answers to these prayers, and they have put us outside the 'norm.' More and more often we have become the victims of the same criticism and judgements others think we bestow upon the 'normal' people. I do have an issue with people who don't do the research and then judge me for the way I do things, but then there are the people who do do the research and still judge me. I can't really do anything about that. I am just sorry if I have offended anyone by expressing my opinions, that was not my intent. I do not judge those that follow the norms. I do feel that even Spencer and I don't fully understand the reality of the world around us, and that every piece of evidence we have found that has compelled us to make these changes in our lives has evidence to the contrary that can be often times equally compelling. The difference is that we have sought the Lord's guidance and know what is right for OUR family.
And for the record, we do vaccinate our children, just not on the same schedule as everyone else... close, but not the same.
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A mutual friend of ours has shared the advice, "you don't know anything until you know everything." I think that is very wise, especially when it come to judging others' decisions. It's unfair to make judgements or assesments of people's choices/actions until we know their whole story. Even then, are we right to judge? That's debatable.
ReplyDeleteThe trick is remembering that BEFORE making judgments. I am still working on this big time.
I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with this. I'm sure when you make such a big lifestyle change that you will encounter some criticism.
ReplyDeleteI always try to remember that what is right for one person, doesn't make it right for all. My husband and I have made some lifestyle choices that people my own siblings find extreme. I try not to look at their choices and think they are wrong, and I hope that they will be accepting of mine.
I think you are amazing and so strong for living the way you do. More power to you, Ashley.