Lacy Anne - Birth Story

Disclaimer: I talk about labor and delivery, this is a TMI post.  You have been warned. Read at your own discretion.

It is finally time to write this down. I have procrastinated long enough.  It has really just taken me this long to accept how things happened and let go of my pride.

After a very uneventful 34 weeks of pregnancy, Lacy decided to spice things up for us and start dropping.  After a few days of on and off contractions, and then finally some painful, consistent ones, I was placed on moderate bed rest at exactly 35 weeks pregnant.  I was only to be careful, but after a day, more dilating and contractions, I was placed on complete bed rest so we could have this baby at home, and more importantly to keep Lacy out of the NICU.

So naturally, the two weeks inched by and made a quick pregnancy turn into a long one.  That is ok, I got to read and watch TV and do nothing.  That will never happen again, at least it better not.

I got off bed rest at 37 weeks and started back to my normal routine, and two days later started having more early labor type contractions.  I let them come this time without much thought, and started a cleaning spree only to cut short by a call from my midwife.  She was finally able to get a hold of my labs that were taken 3 months prior (the lab entered in a TON of information wrong and it made it very difficult to retrieve the results or to even believe who we were).  She was in a panic because my hemoglobin count was ridiculously low - I wasn't terribly concerned to be honest, I have struggled with a low hemoglobin my entire life, even in pregnancy, but there are rules about where it should be when delivering at home and my count was far from that, even still I felt that there was nothing to worry about other than trying to get my levels up - so I stopped cleaning...  And went back to moderate bed rest while I tried to get my levels back up.  A few days after this I went into a birthing center to have my hemoglobins checked, still way low.  I will admit, I let that midwife scare me a little.  She saw my readings and immediately sent me into a panic, telling me I should be at a hospital, getting bags of iron, baby is at risk of low oxygen, etc...  All legitimate concerns when you go by numbers.  But if I had just gone by my instincts, prayer, and faith, I would have been fine.  Through all the panic and concern, I just kept feeling everything was ok.  Oh well, I still went to the hospital, because I was afraid that baby's low movement was a result of a lack of oxygen.  While there the Dr. explained that although my levels put me at risk, there was nothing else about my panel, or my physical appearance that triggered any sort of concern.  She believed my labor and delivery would be without complication, and was confused as to why I was concerned.  There was ONE time the baby's heart rate spiked really high, and another where it got to the top of the range, because she was moving DURING a contraction, and that sent my mom and my midwife into another panic.  At this point, Spencer and I were ready to just do everything ourselves. We had such conflicting messages from the Dr. and my midwife. And my midwife couldn't even deliver me at this point... so I was stuck with whatever Dr. was on call the day I had the baby.  Not that it would matter.

Another week inched by...

Up to this point I had a day each week of contractions that made changes.  By 38 weeks I was 3 cm and 65% effaced, or thereabouts.  Actually, I ended up in labor and delivery again at 38 weeks, but the second I entered the L&D room my contractions completely stopped.  People say that you can't keep your baby inside, that when they are coming they are coming.  I think they are wrong.  I fully believe that I communicated with this little one while she was inside. I begged her to stay in.  And she did.  I used EVERY SINGLE remedy I could to stop labor when it started. Anyway, so that day I got to go home, and I was 4 cm!  And I, again, resumed normal activity.  This time, there was a lot of anxiety and stress weighing on my shoulders. My midwife at this point couldn't even deliver me if my levels were even normal.  But she is still going to be there for me as much as she can.

I cannot describe the roller coaster of emotions at this point. This was seriously the biggest let down of my life. To spend 9 months dreaming about having this amazing experience...  then to have it ripped away in a heart beat.  I cried. A lot.  I felt so helpless.  And a lot of other things I don't care to admit.

At 38 weeks and 5 days I have the LONGEST day ever.  I was in labor from the moment I got up until almost midnight.  The contractions were irregular but consistent. 3 - 15 minutes apart.  But I woke up the next day pregnant, and rested.

38 weeks

39 weeks

39 weeks on the day, I went to get my last blood draw.  Praying for a miracle after the 2 weeks of cramming every type of iron I could into my body.  The week before my levels had significantly jumped after only a week.  And all the while communicating with my previous midwife and my old neighbor who is a midwife and my best friend from Utah who assisted her mother (the neighbor who is a midwife), they seriously gave me so much of what I needed. Support and confidence.  They would allow me to talk and express that I felt nothing wrong despite the stupid numbers.  I was so angry that the results came back when they had. A few months sooner and we could have done something about them, a few days later and we would have been none the wiser.  All those numbers did was create panic.  I knew nothing was going to go wrong. I knew my body, and at this point no one around me would trust me, except Spencer.

THE DAY (7/25/13)

39 weeks and 1 day.  I wake up, jump in the shower because Spencer has to start working in a few minutes and I need to take over with the kids.  I feel some light contractions, and the baby is sooo low I feel like I am peeing myself every time she moves.  No big deal, I'm in the shower, and I am huge and can't hold it while standing anyway. But then I realize, I keep peeing, EVERY time the baby moves more pee trickles out...  but I haven't even had anything to drink... and it is clear.  Could that be my water? I shrug it off and get out of the shower.  As I am getting ready I get another urge to pee, so I run the the bathroom, I filled my panty liner and then more comes out in the toilet.  I put on a pad, go downstairs, tell Spencer I think my water broke, but that I wasn't having contractions and if it did break not all the water is coming out, so we have time.  I fill that pad on my way up the stairs, and another within 10 minutes.  This is just down right uncomfortable... I feel like I am peeing myself every time the baby moves.

I call my mom and she immediately rushes over.  The time I noticed it was my water was around 8 am, I call my mom at 8:45 am, she was there before 10. I tell Spencer to stop working. My sister comes (she wanted to be there when the baby was born).  My dad comes too.  I didn't want to go to the hospital if labor hadn't started, but I was afraid once it did, the baby would slip right out in the car.  So Spencer got EVERYTHING ready in case we delivered at home.  We sent everyone out to various things, Declan went to Becca's, Girls with Mom, Dad and Jeremy, Kayla for Oreos. Spencer gave me a blessing while the house was quiet.  Prior to this we talked a lot about different scenarios (when I say we, I mean me and Spencer just listened since he knew there was no way to plan for said event).  But immediately before the blessing was pick a number for my hemoglobin to be above in order for us to stay at home, if it was below we would go to the hospital.  During his blessing the text came with the number. It was below our number, so there was no more questioning.  Kayla got back, and we got ready, and we headed out to get labor going closer to the hospital.

We went to Taco Cabana (the drive thru), ate in the car, contractions were 5 minutes apart but bearable.  We went and walked around the LDS Temple here in San Antonio, since it was close to where we delivered.  And when the contractions had been 5 minutes apart for two hours and getting more painful, we decided to get to the hospital.

I am 6 cm, and 80% effaced.

I seriously thought I was going to have this baby while waiting in triage.  But again, I kept her in there. And again, when I got into the room, labor stopped.  We got to the hospital just after 3 and into the room by 5.

I will not tell you how far they pushed pitocin.  We kept having to say no.  The first words out of the Dr's mouth, "so you water is broken, and contractions are not really picking up, when were you thinking you would want to try a low dose of pitocin to speed things up?" Umm, let me get settled and at least TRY to pick things up before jumping the gun! The first Dr. on call was relieved by another, and again, the pitocin lecture.  Your water has been broken for almost 12 hours, only a half cm dilated in the last two hours, risk of infection... yada yada.  My fluids  and discharge were clear, the baby's heart rate was amazing, I had the perfect temp.  And there was still progress being made regardless of what the monitor picked up.  I finally told the second Dr. I know the risks, I will not even think about it until it has been longer than 24 hours AND the fluids are no longer clear or I have a fever or the baby's heart rate is worrisome.  He went off to say I could go septic, he just wanted what was best for me and the baby... I said, who's to say that is what is best? There is no longer a fair amount of fluid around this baby, my body responds VERY well to pitocin in the SMALLEST dose, I fear the contractions will be too much for my baby and I could very well end up in an emergency C-Section... I want to wait.  He finally dropped it.

Meanwhile, the first Dr had suggested (in passing), that we could try rupturing the fore bag, the part of the membrane at the top of the baby's head, and see if that helped things progress.  I felt strongly that I would rather try that before anything else.

So, after the pitocin lecture, I ask my nurse to get the new Dr. to rupture the fore bag.  With my previous two, labor picked up and I was holding my baby within an hour of rupturing my bag, so let's give it a shot.

At this point we had sent Kayla to pick up dinner.  It was just around 9 pm.

He comes in at about 9:15 and ruptures my fore bag several times, I am at a 7 and stretch to a 7.5, still 80% (I think) effaced, and only a tiny little bit of water comes out, but the baby no longer has that little bit of water holding her off the birth canal.  We tell him it will be fast at this point.  He doesn't believe us.  He and the nurse clear the room, and Spencer and I made out and talked about our wedding night.  (look, this helped the previous labor, and it is an important thing to try if labor is stalled. it works. that is all)

And voila.... contractions.

At this point it is about 9:30, or so and we have already called Kayla to come back.  Contractions are picking up pretty fast, getting consistent and about 2-4 minutes apart.   9:40, I feel more pressure and the baby dropping. The awesome bed can put me in a seated position, so that is how I am.  The nurse comes in, she says I am only an 8 so hang tight because she has to rush to another delivery.  I tell her, this baby is coming soon.  Spencer tells her we only have about a half an hour at this point. I am trying so hard not to moan or lay back at all.  Because I am afraid of delivering this baby without a nurse or Dr there.  Each contraction is getting more and more intense.  Around 10, another nurse comes, brings the delivery cart all the way in the room, tells me my nurse is almost done with the other mom, and runs to go relieve her.  I know I am transitioning.  The music I had playing up to this point is off (Piano Guys), Spencer and Kayla can no longer talk to me.  Although, this time I allow Spencer to remind me to breathe and relax, he has mastered how to tell me during a contraction.

My nurse comes back (Tiffany), and Spencer tells her this is it.  She has to check me before she can call the Dr.  I am moaning by this point, not all dramatic like the movies, but the noise comes out with each contraction.  She tells me to lay back a little so she can check me and to let the baby come over my tail bone, and I tell her the baby is going to come (what I was thinking was, wait til the Dr get's here because my tail bone is the only thing keeping her in at this point, if I lean back at all she will come out). Apparently, despite us telling them, the Dr wouldn't come until the nurse checked and was complete. Well, she checked, but now I was locked in position, and now crowning. She texted and called the Doc, but he was nowhere to be found.

It was just Spencer, Kayla, Tiffany and I.  Seriously, the baby was out in minutes.  She at least has her gloves on, Spencer is watching the babies head as Tiffany is getting the tray, Spencer is telling her, as calmly as possible, the baby is coming RIGHT NOW.  I feel another contraction, and the urge to push.... up to this point I kept focusing on breathing through each contraction and imagining how close I was to holding my baby, I kept thinking "I'm going to meet my baby," and it would almost take the pain away...  So as I had the urge to push, Spencer and Tiffany both told me to stop pushing because I would cause a tear, the baby was already coming fast enough. So I had started pushing, they tell me to stop, the only way I can even remotely try is to muster up a deep breath, mid contraction, but as I breath in, the baby literally slipped right out.  Like a cork screw.  Spencer and Tiffany caught her and lifted her to me, she was already pink and looked like she had just had a bath.  Seriously, she was covered in clear amniotic fluid. And she looked EXACTLY like Spencer.  She was born at 10:22 pm.  The feeling just after delivering naturally isn't one you can experience any other way.  I was so flooded with oxytocin, I was completely elated. I know you get a smaller version even with an epidural, but my experience with Alice was nothing like this. I couldn't believe it was over and that my new little baby was in my arms!!!  I was so happy in that moment. It was amazing.

I was able to hold her and nurse her before they finally took her to weigh her.

They left her on me for a while, and Spencer made sure the cord wasn't pulsing any more before he cut it.  And guess who made it just in time to deliver the placenta?! You guessed it. The doctor. Amazingly, I didn't bleed nearly as much with Lacy as I did with any of the others and my iron was the lowest. I took Shephards Purse a lot during labor, took cayenne pepper pills immediately after I delivered and they gave me the normal dose of pitocin I have had AFTER each delivery.

I was good to go the following morning, but Lacy had to stay until at least 8 pm the next night before she could come home.  Spencer will be the first to tell you, we were so anxious to get home!  I enjoyed having all of that time with Lacy, but it was uncomfortable and I hated the interruptions.  At least they never took her away from me! And the one time she went to the nursery, Spencer went with her while I showered and transferred rooms.  She is the only one not to be jaundiced, too.  My little Juerita!

After a shower

Still on my Oxytocin high

Waiting for Alice, Spencer is the best labor partner EVER.

Alice got to come that night!

Norah Loving on Lacy the morning after we got home.

Declan was so confused!

We had to fight a little to get home, but we finally go to go!

First Family Picture, September 1st, 2013

I couldn't be happier with my little family.  I know things didn't turn out at all like I expected, but they turned out just fine!  People argue that it was good for me to be at the hospital in case things went wrong, but, between Spencer and I, we knew nothing was going to go wrong.  But we went, and if for nothing more than to be able to test my resolve against the lovely hospital system, then it was worth it.  I was finally able to stick up for what I felt was best for my baby and I.  I was able to prove to myself that I can make sure I never go against what I feel is right, even in an uncertain situation.

I know what the risks were, I know the baby could have had a low oxygen supply, and that I could have hemorrhaged, but I also knew that I wouldn't.  Still, we went.  It was the answer we received, and we obeyed.

Finally, 12 weeks later, I feel like I can finally let go of some of my pride!  haha!

Smiles make everything better :)

I try to soak up as many of these moments as I can!

If there is one thing I have learned up to this point, it is to cherish the blessings.  Find joy in the moments life offers us.  And to be patient with myself as I adjust to our new life!

Having Children in Faith

I know it has been a while since I posted an update on this blog! But I guess I should announce that we are back in Texas, Spencer has another new job (he was recruited for this one and it was a pay raise and in San Antonio, so we took it!), and we are expecting baby number 4!!  Our family just keeps growing! And if you ask me if we are done or taking a break, I won't have an answer... because every time I answer that questions we end up pregnant again... no matter what the answer is. lol!  I am so excited to be having our little Lacy Anne at home like we had Declan (pending there are still no complications).  The girls are super excited and we have been preparing them for a water birth.  We have been discussing our birth plan a ton, and I am so grateful my mom is only 3 miles away!  Alice is the most excited about having a baby sister, she says, "I have a baby boy, and now I'm gonna have a baby girl!"  Sometimes I correct her, but I love her enthusiasm.

Anyway, tonight, Spencer and I had a moment to talk about how much we have grown and how we feel we have been able to grow stronger as a couple through all of these changes despite the trials and hardship of new babies and new houses and new jobs.  Then we got onto the Mormon Channel on YouTube and found this video.  It was perfect. It was like Heavenly Father verifying to us that we will be just fine through all of this chaos. As long as we are following the Lord's counsel to the best of our abilities, we will only grow stronger.

After watching this video, Spencer started discussing how he totally agrees with the philosophy that God gave us time so we can have children.  He was commenting on how unique it is that out of all of the animals on the earth, humans take the longest to raise and formulate bonds with.  That we are really on this earth to go through this whole cycle of getting married, having babies, raising them, and then helping them as they go through it all....  I love him, and I am so glad we share this perspective.  We are in love with our little growing family! We are so lucky!

Oh Pinkeye.... and a new job!!

So basically, I HATE pinkeye.  It is such a disgusting plague!  It is SOOOO contagious and it just takes FOREVER to get rid of in one family.  So the first person to get it has been over it for days, and the second person got over it a day ago, and the THIRD person to get it will probably have if for a couple MORE days, I am just praying the baby and I are spared.  I am going on 7 days of house arrest here and about to DIE!  We did, however, go pick up my dad from the airport yesterday, so that was a fun outing.  And I have escaped a couple times to regain precious sanity and it helped a TON... but I am ready to be over the lysoling all over the place and constant hand sanitizing!  

Ok, now that's off my chest. We have been tremendously BLESSED!  Spencer starts a new job on Wednesday and we (meaning I) are so grateful to have a job that will allow us paid time off!  Ya, so we get all the fancy benefits, but I am stoked we can actually just take a vacation as a family for once!  Yes, we have taken vacations in the past, but up to now we have just either lost all the pay or he has had to work to make up for it, so it doesn't really feel like a vacation...  Anyway, paid time off is probably the BEST benefit EVER invented!  I am so excited we can finally see him without having to go on one less date, or short ourselves on groceries.  Don't get me wrong, we get to see him now, but usually 2 out of our 3 children are having meltdowns, and/or we are running around trying to fix this place up.

We have been so blessed!  I am so excited to see what the Lord has in store for us!

New Blog

Sooo, I decided that instead of making the family blog all about mommy, I started one just for that! The new blog will be Me In ONE Place.  It is all about motherhood/wifehood/womanhood... according to me that is...  Anyway, happy following!

Let's Keep Things Simple

Last night I had the privilege of attending our local LDS temple with a few ladies from my neighborhood. It was exactly what I needed. Through life's recent uncertainties I found myself very overwhelmed and struggling to keep a positive perspective. I was losing my confidence in letting the Lord guide us and help us through this trying time. But just before we were about to leave I was sitting and looking at a picture of the Savior. It is an artists rendition of the resurrected Lord at the second coming. The Savior is standing erect with his arms out stretched and his palms facing the viewer so as to see the prints of the nails in his hands and feet. I just looked at Him and realized that this is what I should be holding on to. The Savior not only atoned for my sins, but for my sorrows, weaknesses, pain and suffering. He provides comfort through those willing to act as he would. As a few of us went out and visited after the temple I could just feel the burden of this trial lifting off my shoulders. I was reminded that if we take His yoke upon us, our burdens are made light.

I have absolutely NO idea what the future holds for our family, but I know that as we council with the Lord, and those around us, we will be strong enough to heed His council and make it through this trial. The Lord is always available to ease our burdens we just need to keep things simple and keep our eyes single to His glory.

On another note, look who smiled during tummy time!

When Life Throws A Curve Ball

We have some uncertain things coming our way in the VERY near future. All I can say is: when life throws you a curve ball, learn how to hit it... Don't strike out! I am so grateful for the Gospel and the peace that comes from learning it's precepts. I know the Lord has a purpose. The trick is figuring out what that is!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Free-Thinkers and Harsh Judgments....

Recently, I learned that the way my family and I have jumped on the homebirthing and plant-based diet bandwagons has offended some people.  For this I am terribly sorry.  Too often, I express my opinion in an I-am-right-you-are-wrong kind of way, without realizing it.  I had a once dear friend undergo a c-section due to complications during labor.  I didn't fully understand her complications at the time and assumed the Dr's were to blame for her c-section.  I was very irritated and concerned that the c-section, like sooo many others, was a result of 'unnecessary' hospital interventions.  Anyway, long story short, the way I asked my questions was misconstrued into pride and a holier-than-thou type attitude.  Her story was legitimate, and the entire reason c-sections are necessary in the first place.  Not all women who have c-sections are 'victims' of modern medicine, but too many are, this was not the case with my former friend.  I know that now.  And thank goodness she prayed and felt completely impressed that she needed to have her baby at a hospital.  Early on in our pregnancies I was talking about my desire to homebirth and I remember her commending me for it but telling me, even then, that she knew she needed to be at a hospital.  It is easy to understand why now.  She is a huge advocate for natural birthing and I was devastated to learn that her c-section resulted in no possibility for VBAC's since they had to cut her uterus twice.  I was fishing to find out if she really deserved this outcome.  I mean, for any other woman who doesn't really think twice about 'how' her baby enters this world just that it does and is healthy, I wouldn't have been so concerned.  But this person was the first person to really put the idea of natural birthing into my mind and was so well educated on the whole subject.  I was devastated to find out she would no longer be able to experience something she was so passionate about, mainly because I thought she would have been devastated.  Of course, the fact that she and her baby would have died otherwise brought peace to the situation, but still, I just wished she didn't have to go through that.

I have my opinions on vaccinations, diet, birthing, raising children, but they are not across the board nor doctrine.  These opinions have been derived from countless hours of research and praying and advice from doctors, herbalists, friends, and family.  Mainly the praying though.  We have found OUR answers to these prayers, and they have put us outside the 'norm.' More and more often we have become the victims of the same criticism and judgements others think we bestow upon the 'normal' people.  I do have an issue with people who don't do the research and then judge me for the way I do things, but then there are the people who do do the research and still judge me.  I can't really do anything about that.  I am just sorry if I have offended anyone by expressing my opinions, that was not my intent.  I do not judge those that follow the norms.  I do feel that even Spencer and I don't fully understand the reality of the world around us, and that every piece of evidence we have found that has compelled us to make these changes in our lives has evidence to the contrary that can be often times equally compelling.  The difference is that we have sought the Lord's guidance and know what is right for OUR family.

And for the record, we do vaccinate our children, just not on the same schedule as everyone else... close, but not the same.

Leave It To Beaver

How many of us watch or watched Leave It To Beaver??  The all too idealistic June Cleaver forever impresses upon women how we think we should contribute to the family dynamic.

This morning as I was trying to explain to Spencer what I pictured when I think about the wife and mother I ought and want to be, June Cleaver was basically what I came up with.

I told him how I want, so badly, to be the kind of wife and mother that just has it together. One who has cooked meals, clean house, and is there for her family, with a positive attitude and a smile on her face.  I compare myself way to much... But I do the all too common "compare my weaknesses to others' strengths" thing...  And then Spencer brought to light a new perspective that has me determined to start anew, he pointed out that focusing on my flaws is selfish.  He first asked me why I never dwell on my strengths, and I responded that it was vain and self-centered.  Then he explained that so was dwelling on my flaws.  It is, quite simply, "self-ish."

How's that for a fast one, huh?!  I know that focusing on one's "self," is just a recipe for trouble.  We may start off trying to build self-confidence and self-esteem and all those other "self-isms. " But that is all it is, "self-ish."  The most important thing I can do is not compound my flaws and every aspect of my nature into one thing.  I learned recently in a small lesson given by a dear friend, I am not subject to only ONE thing, ONE role, if you will.  I may only think of myself as a wife and a mother, but I am also a daughter, a sister, a coach, a granddaughter, a niece, a friend, a cook, a housekeeper, a neighbor, and the list goes on...  When I fail at any one of those things it doesn't mean I am a failure as a person, it simply means that I failed at that one thing.  And if I failed at one or even two things, all hope is not lost, I will simply dust myself off and try again.

And look at this face :)  He doesn't think I fail at anything.  

We Can Conquer the World

This is before we went Plant-based in our diet... lol. We don't have enough pictures together!

Spencer is amazing.  He is so talented, patient, loving, thoughtful, and kind.  He doesn't seem to think so, but he is!  The last 10 weeks have had PLENTY of ups and downs!  3 kids keep you on your toes!  In the near future, our lives will be undergoing uncertainty, changes, and absolute faith that the Lord has His hand in our lives.  I am so blessed to be going through life's altering changes with my best friend and the love of my life :)

That is all.

Declan's Birth and First Two Months

So I guess it is about time I wrote this all down.  I have told this story so many times already!  My homebirthing story starts way back with Alice.  I had such a negative hospital experience with her birth that Spencer and I decided we would do something different with Norah.  However, with Norah, we were so transitionary up until her birth, that we HAD to have her in a hospital, but it was in a different state and we spoke up for ourselves and had a very supportive nurse and Dr.  Still, it wasn't exactly what we wanted.  

After Norah we were NOT planning on jumping the gun on a having a third child.  However, the Lord has His plans, and he doesn't usually let selfish desires stand in His way.  Declan was ready to come and he made sure we knew.  So, finally, we decided to 'let' him - I am certain he would have whether or not we did.

The Last Picture of me before Declan was born.  I was actually having contractions at this point, they were about 10 minutes apart.

Finally, the fateful day arrived, I was late, and everything started to... smell...  That's right, smell.  I went to Walmart the first week of official pregnancy and could smell EVERYTHING in the store from one spot.  Needless to say, the rotisserie chicken made me want to vomit.  That was weird, I thought, if I didn't know any better I'd think I was pregnant.  I even texted Spencer that very thought and experience!  So then I was late and took a stinking test...  That's right, it was positive.  VERY positive.  I remember before I could officially take the test, I took one and nothing showed up.  I knew nothing would, but I hoped.  My joints were all starting to loosen up, my knees were bothering me when I ran, and I even told my running buddies I thought I was pregnant because of the knee thing.  They all suspected I had bad shoes and that I needed to get my "gait" checked.  Blah...  at this point I was just ready to be pregnant.  I had already given in to the prompting of having a third child, 'SO COME ALREADY' I thought!  Anyway, he did, and here we are... with three BEAUTIFUL (slash handsome) children!

All three babies together the night Declan was born :)  It was so nice to be at home!

When I was about, I don't know, 10 weeks pregnant or so, we started to look at our options.  I started going down the 'normal' route of birthing...  you know, dr, hospital, etc...  but it all felt... off.  Had we stayed in TX I would have had my baby at home or at a birthing center, I was connected to amazing midwives there.  In UT, it was an entirely foreign land to me.  So after speaking with the midwife across the street (yes, across the street!) I was connected to my midwife, and I will tell you, she is AMAZING!  (The midwife across the street is in a master's program, was traveling very near my due date, and doesn't practice midwifery regularly; otherwise I would have just gone with her)   So after interviewing her and talking with my Dr, we decided to go with the homebirth and keep my Dr informed if anything should take a wrong turn.  

Peeking out at the world on daddy's chest.

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock.....  That is how pregnancy works, you know. Like a time bomb...  The first few minutes go by fast, but the last few seconds go by... so............ slow.  Everyone in my neighborhood started having their babies before me.... I was the last one due...  I tried to stay busy, hoping that after each commitment was fulfilled, after I had reached full term, I would just go into labor.  I joked that I could go into labor after my baby shower since that was THE LAST thing I HAD to do.  

One month old :)

So February 18th finally rolled around and I had the most wonderful baby shower!  I loved it!  Everyone was asking about my homebirth plans, and I had nothing but support!  I was still joking that the baby could come then, since I was done with everything I had committed to doing that month.  Little did I know that the contractions that were already 10-15 minutes apart would stop until he did.  

The day went on and I just did what I did almost every day at that point... clean.

First Sunday outfit!

Then... I lost the plug...  I called my mom and my midwife just to let them know, in case I went into labor.  I got excited for a minute, and then I went into 'the house will be clean or I will turn into an evil witch' mode.  So, it was spotless by 7 pm.  I didn't even fix my family dinner... that wasn't important.  I had to have the entire house dusted, mopped, vacuumed, etc., before I stopped.  And it was.  Then we put the girls down and I started timing my contractions. They were 3-4 minutes apart. Up to that point, I knew they had been close, but that was really close.  After a little over an hour I called my midwife. She came at, I don't know, close to 9 30pm.  

She checked me, I was only 2 cm... then she waited an hour and checked me again... progress... she called her assistants, and that was that. I made it to 4 cm and then stuck there for 4-5 hours.  I psyched myself into that too, I had said several times before that I didn't know what I would do if I got stuck at a 4... so I got stuck at a four.  Bahumbug!  So everyone took their naps and I tried....  but the contractions were 2 minutes apart and just plain uncomfortable.  

7 weeks old and smiling!

Morning came, I had made it to a 5.  I think our midwife knew I was a little too anxious with everyone there.  We sent our girls to church with our good friends, one assistant went to her church to hear her husband and daughter speak, and the other assistant and our midwife went to get breakfast.  Spencer and I were left with one assignment, to get my labor going!  Run up and down the stairs, make-out, take a walk around the block.... anything!  So we did...  I even had a green smoothie :)   By the time the midwife came back contractions were finally more intense.  

The last Newborn outfit he fit in...  it has now entered the "too small" box.

Then I was getting stuck at a 6... so after an hour or two at a 6 and barely over halfway effaced, I just had her break my water.  I was done.  That was at 11:26...   Hardly any water came out because of how Declan was positioned, so I moved to the ball... then came that famous 'gush' of water.  I thought I had peed myself.  Wait... no... that was just my water coming.  I moved to the tub, then the contractions were unbearable.  I actually felt Declan coming down.  After about 3-4 of the most painful contractions I had ever had (and I was on pitocin with Norah and went without pain meds) I knew he was coming.  Our midwife checked and said I was complete.  I had one more contraction and said he was coming... I could feel it... there was no going back.  Our midwife was concerned that our tub was too narrow, so as soon as that contraction was over I just stood up and said 'if we are moving me we are doing it NOW' Spencer was behind me this entire time and helped me get to the bed.  But then I couldn't sit.  Declan had wiggled down and I couldn't bend in the middle.  Darn it all... so Spencer grabbed my hands over the midwife and held me up and one of the assistants was pushing me up from the back and sticking pillows behind me so I could sit up.  The contraction came, and I just started pushing.  The midwife had to tell me to back off... I was pushing too fast...  how do you back off, you wonder?.... you don't...  So Declan came at 11:42 am, and he was super blue and slimy... lol... you thought I was going to say beautiful or something, right?  Well, he was, and I held him, I didn't care.  I mean we had a towel, but I still had him skin to skin.  I felt amazing!  I had done it!  The moment I was waiting for came, and I had an instant connection with my baby the way I had hoped for.  I LOVED it!  I felt empowered.  I could now accomplish anything, and no one could tell me otherwise.

Sportin' the Burnt Orange!  Hook 'Em \m/

Alice and Norah joined us shortly thereafter, since church let out at noon.  And I loved having all my babies with me right away!  I enjoyed the rest of my day with visits from good friends.  I managed to sneak a 45 minute nap in (I didn't sleep at all through the night).  Spencer and I absolutely loved being at home!  I loved sleeping in my own bed, and not having nurses bother me at all hours of the night.  I loved that my little girls were just down the hall, and that Spencer wasn't confined to an uncomfortable cot.  I loved that my baby didn't have to suffer through being poked or prodded, and that we didn't have to bring him home.  It was awesome!

Two Months old. He LOVES being up and able to look around :)

My mom and sister came in that Wednesday (Declan was born on Sunday 2/19), and I was able to start catching up on sleep and play time with my girls.  I am so grateful they were able to be here for so long.  Everyone says the hardest adjustment is 2 to 3, but I have been so blessed with help from my family and wonderful friends that this seems to be quite a bit easier than I had expected.  Don't get me wrong... it is still quite challenging at times, but not nearly as hard as it could be.  My mom was able to spend a grand total of 5 weeks with me and my sister almost 3.  I know they made HUGE sacrifices to be with me, and for that I know they will be blessed immensely!  

Alice loves her baby brother, she thinks "he is so cute and little!" Norah loves him too, but she is a little more jealous than I had expected...  She loves holding him and giving him hugs and kisses, but she also has no problem pushing him out of my lap so she can have a turn in it.  Spencer loves is "little man," and does so much to take care of him and give me much needed breaks for my sanity.  He really is a great support, and I would literally go crazy without his help.

Look at those BLUE eyes! I hope they stay that way!

All in all, it is surreal to be a family of 5...  I still forget I have 3 children sometimes, I mean, I don't forget about any of them, I just forget I have that many... It's weird... I am only 25...  Is this real?  Yes, yes it is.  And it is amazing!

A Refiner's Fire

I suppose it is time to start putting my thoughts out there once again...  I forget how much easier life is to deal with when my thoughts aren't only swimming in my own head.  I should keep a journal, but I just don't....  Well, I do, but it is about as successful as this blog....

Yesterday evening was one of the craziest to date since being on our own with the littles.  I found myself working really hard to keep it all together and had one of those growing/maturing moments.  As Spencer was getting ready for yet another campout - that I really didn't want him to go on since it would have been my first night alone since having three kids, and Declan is barely two months old and still unpredictable - I found myself actually able to suppress my anxiety and erratic emotional outbursts and accomplish the task at hand.  Creating order out of chaos.

Delcan had received most of his immunizations (we opted to do HepB later), and just woke up from his nap only to be totally and completely uncomfortable and he chose to make sure our entire neighborhood was aware of his pain.  Norah is getting over an ear infection and decided she would be happiest being held... or fed...  Alice really just wanted to be with Daddy, but he was running around trying to get ready for his campout and couldn't ensure her safety outside so she kept being brought inside.  So with three children taking turns overlapping their meltdowns Spencer seemed very discouraged.  He even, at one point, asked if he needed to cancel the camp out.  Instead of melting down myself, because I very much could have, I found myself putting a smile on my face and actually reassuring Spencer that I could handle it just fine and that the kids would be fine once things were settled. Almost as all the calming reassurances left my mouth I wondered if I had been possessed by a saint.  What was I saying!?  Because I wanted to be saying, "YES, stay home! Save me from all of this chaos!  Hug me and let me cry! I don't want to do this! ....I can't do this..." Of course, I know that it was the strength the Lord gave me that ensured everyone's safety and kept me from melting down, and those were the things Spencer needed to see and hear to be able to fulfill his calling with the scouts and provide these young boys with experiences they need to become whom the Lord would have them become, but still!  The kids were all freaking out, everyone I trusted and wanted to stay with me had plans or obligations, and I was just short of breaking down and crying.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, I was able to calm everyone down and Declan cried so hard he just wore himself out and fell asleep (which is unusual for the evening, because he is usually just fussy from 7-9 pm), Norah and Alice started playing together and I actually had a chance to breathe and skype with my mom and sister (which I so desperately needed).

I know that the Lord gave me strength among the chaos surrounding motherhood and wifehood, and I know that even though I was 100% irritated that the one night Spencer was gone all hell broke loose in the Hall household, the Lord provided a way for me to once again bring order to all things gone wrong and left me with three beautiful, strong, healthy babies that help me find joy in the life I have.

I am grateful for these opportunities for growth (after the growing is done of course), and I wouldn't trade the life I have for anything!  Once in a while, though, it would be nice if it didn't take so many meltdowns in one night to help me grow, mature, and learn the ins and outs of mommyhood... just sayin'...

The night ended with these three babies happy and content that mommy hadn't lost her cool and they repayed me by going to bed easily.  All is once again right with the world... granted, their not up yet, so  this will be short lived, but, by golly, a short life is better than none!

The More Thoughts to Come...

Recently, Spencer and I have been doing a lot of reflecting...  We are taking a more active role in our children's lives and our overall health...  

Which brings me to some new changes.  We have determined that we are going to be plant-based with our diet.  We have had an interesting journey to this point though.  First, we move into this ward where there are several, and I mean SEVERAL, vegetarians and vegans...  Then, as I live here for a few months I start to hear a little gossip here and there about a RAW vegan diet...  Talk about out there!  But that was only the start.  Spencer and I already had a desire to follow the Word of Wisdom (D&C 89) a little more thoroughly by adding more grains into our diet and really eating meat sparingly.  What we didn't realize is what a blessing that would be.  It all started while we had some friends staying with us, one of which is vegan, and they helped show us some great alternatives to what we were eating.  We realized that it really wasn't as drastic of a change as we had thought, and most of the things we ate were so close to being animal protein- free that we really didn't have a lot to change.  As we started learning about grains and other sources of protein we learned how deficient we were in eating animal-based foods.  We have found such a wide variety of foods to get our nutrients and calories from and Spencer doesn't have anywhere near the allergy problems that he did before.  Norah who is allergic/intolerant to dairy isn't spitting up string cheese or milk anymore and they are thriving.  

When considering this diet change I talked with a few friends who really don't know what this diet contains as far as nutrients go, and their first questions were, how are you going to make sure your kids are getting enough fat and protein in their diet?!  Like taking out scrambled eggs was going to give them less protein...  Let's do the math, one egg (which is all I could get Alice to eat on a good day) has 3g or protein, so since Norah usually ate hers and half of Alice's, she was getting 4.5g of protein for breakfast whilst Alice was only getting 1.5g.  I would usually try to get Alice to eat something else but she usually wouldn't eat again til lunch, with a glass of milk or watered-down juice in between.  We were told not to let her snack so she would eat at meal times...  which only worked sometimes.  Alice has ALWAYS been the type that would rather be hungry than eat something she doesn't want to.  Anyway, since switching to a plant-based diet, not only have we almost lost our picky Alice, she will eat a serving of cereal, cold or hot, that contains a whopping 5-6g of protein.  And she drinks my green smoothies every day which have a ton of protein in them as well.  They eat beans, nuts, grains, fruits and veggies and are healthier than most of the kids their age in our area.  I don't limit their food anymore.  I just let them eat til the heart's content.  Alice is starting to love foods like Quinoa and Oatmeal.  So many mornings she will wake up and immediately ask for Oatmeal...  She will ask for carrot sticks and peanut butter....  These are things I never thought I would hear out of my 2-yr-old's mouth.  Anyway, this change has been such a blessing and it is truly opened our eyes to so many other things.

  

Recently, I heard a very sad story.  A lot of people hear stories like this, and a lot of the time when a home birth goes bad it is made public, but when a hospital birth goes bad, it gets little to no attention.  My midwife recently delivered a baby to a couple who had lost their previous baby to a hospital intervention.  Which is how most mothers and babies are lost in the US.  The previous labor was going fine, but the baby was getting stuck in the birth canal.  So in the midst of impatience the Dr. brought out the vacuum.  It didn't work.  Not only did it not work, it caused a cerebral hemorrhage.  They didn't know.  They rushed the mother into an emergency c-section because they convinced her that was the only way the baby was going to come out, only to find out that the baby had died during this time.  So not only did this precious baby lose its life, it was totally preventable.  It amazed me that the Dr chose to vacuum the baby out instead of let the mother get into a proper birthing position.  The only reason for this is convenience.  If the mother had been in a sitting or squatting position the Dr would have had to squat to get the baby.  Or it would have been a liability because the baby could fall.  It is aggravating to know that most of the complications that come with hospital births are caused by just being there.  A women who is already in tremendous pain is pressured non-chalantly by Dr's and nurses and told that basically she has to do what they say.  OB's are trained surgeons, not midwives.  Yet we put our lives in a Doctor's hands as if they know us better than we know ourselves. Midwives are trained to help a women bring her own child into this world.  Something that brings about so much joy, I can't even describe it.

Which brings me to the next big thing, which to some is bigger than a diet change....  I will be having this little baby boy at home with a midwife.  I have been doing so much digging and researching and praying and this is what we are doing!  My interest in natural birth started with some friends of ours that had their first baby at home.  I remember inviting them over for dinner and talking about how much I loved not feeling the pain of labor, but then learned that they weren't only going all natural but they were going to have their baby at home!  I thought, why?  And started asking questions.  I determined I wanted a similar experience with Norah, but since we didn't have a home at the time I was limited to birthing centers or hospitals, due to our transitionary state I did have her in a hospital, but without any pain medication.  We also have another good friend who had her two boys naturally one at a birthing center and one at home.  And they seemed to really appreciate the experience and she was able to get into her own zone without any pressure from Dr's and nurses trying to turn the room over for the next person. Luckily with Norah there were only like 4 other women having babies so no one rushed me.  

I have suffered through pain most of these last 10 years, and I am suddenly grateful for it because it gave me the patience and tolerance I needed to make it through Norah's delivery (which I talk about further down, I don't know how to link it).  Looking back, I know what a blessing it was to hold Norah right away, I bonded with her right away.  Alice and I struggled because of complications and it took us almost 3 months to get when Norah and I got right away.  So no more doctors, or nurses, or hospitals.  I am low risk so I will be staying at home.  Even if there were a few risks, and all felt right, I would still have this baby at home.  I used to think that modern medicine was the way to go, and that women who didn't have the pain killers were crazy.  I used to swear I would have an epidural no matter what!  I had no idea.  No idea that there is so much more to be had when you deliver a baby the way your body was designed to deliver.  None of those laying back with your feet in stir-ups mumbo jumbo.  None of those hospital interventions that are most of the time completely unnecessary.  There is such a small percentage of women who actually needed an intervention that get them.  Including being induced.  Anyway, I have since completely changed my perspective of the healthcare INDUSTRY.  I am learning to trust in the Lord before I trust in a doctor or even a midwife.  Spencer and I are completely on board with this and I am so glad he is there to support me!

I remember after having Norah I felt so empowered, I had done it, I had gone through labor and delivery and felt all that I was capable of.  No one will be able to take that away from me.  I found a new determination to get things done.  To set goals and actually meet them.  I am stronger for it.  I have found my inner-self and know that I can be who I am intended to be.  I no longer settle for "that's just how I am." If I don't like it, I change it!  For example, when I decided to get rid of that 5 month prego-looking belly, I did it.  I was 8 pounds and 4 inches from my goal when I found out I was having this baby.  I was actively losing weight and looking my best. I am determined to look like I haven't had kids!  lol.  More importantly, I am determined to be my best self so I can help my husband and children reach their full potential.  I love the new me, and if that means I will be a baby-wearing, stay-at-home, nursing mama to three (or more) beautiful children, then that is what I will be. If that means I will be rocking my girls and boy to sleep for the next few years I will give up that 30 minutes every day.  I have babies, they are a part of me, and if I keep trying to follow the trend of making my kids live around my preferences there will be no harmony in this home.  I am learning that I have these 3 beautiful spirits under my protection and only I can show them a mother's love.  And we are learning slowly that love is spelled T-I-M-E.

I love that Spencer and I are in full agreement on how to raise our family and that he is a worthy priesthood holder that loves his responsibility to lead and guide us the way his Father in Heaven would have him do.  Spencer is my support and the love of my life.  I am so glad I chose to marry him!  I can't believe it has been 4 years on the 27th!  

Note:  Two documentaries that really opened my eyes, and validated what I had been feeling, are Forks Over Knives and The Business of Being Born (I only recommend that one to future and current mamas, it shows women in labor... naked-ish).  There are other studies and research that also encourage plant-based diets and natural birth, but those two really put a lot in one place.

I have heard some people brag about how much they love the epidural, but you won't hear it from me.  You will hear me brag, though, that the moment I first hold that baby in my arms, whilst the largest rush of oxytocin is running through both our bodies, we will bond on a level that makes all the pain worth it.  To me, that one moment is what I was made for.  I was made to connect with my children on a level no one else can.  I was made to give birth the way it was intended to be done.  Some may argue that babies and mothers were lost so much before hospital interventions, but I believe that more are lost now due to them.  I also believe in listening to the Spirit in this matter, and if the Lord knew I needed to be at a hospital I wouldn't feel so opposed to being there. I am relying on this to guide me through this process, and I can't wait to share my experience with others.

Another update

Baby Boy Hall will be joining us on or after Feb 26th, 2012 (I am going for the 29th!), and we are THRILLED to be having a boy.  I didn't think our next baby would be joining us til mid-late 2013, but here we are...  The Lord has a purpose for this boy, let's just make sure I stay sane enough to help him figure out what that is!

Alice is quite the 2-yr-old and she is letting us know.  It has been rather difficult to keep up with all of the things she throws at us, but recently we have learned that if we say no a little less and cuddle a little more she is a LOT easier to handle!!  I have been reflecting on my labor, delivery and recovery with her quite a bit and it is amazing how that really seems to be the theme of our little Alice.  It was relatively easy to get her here, recovery from the delivery was more than I had anticipated, and the bonding took all the energy I could muster.  Now she is just this cute little spitfire and she knows it!  It amazes me how observant she has always been, and how that resulted in this little girl who will tell you exactly what she wants or doesn't want, no beating around the bush there!

Norah is coming out more and more!  She was this mellow little baby who just sat back and relaxed while everything went on around her.  I believe she was just so entertained by Alice that she'd rather watch than get in on the action.  But here she is 16 months old and just as much of a handful!  She is starting to say words like "uh-oh" and "up." She has been saying mama since she was 7-8 months old...  and dada since around then too.  It is so cute to watch her play like she sees her daddy play, and when he walks in the door she has to be in his arms immediately.  She signs a lot, mainly "more" and "please" though.  Ever since she and Alice started playing more she has become a little more demanding and destructive..  So essentially she is just pretending she is 2...  But she is quite the cuddle bug and would rather fall asleep being rocked in your arms than by herself.  Although she is easy to just put into bed, you can't help but cuddle with her as you rock her to sleep.

Spencer is loving his job!  He is progressing more and more in his IOS developer talents, and has quite a few apps to show for it.  Big ones... Anyway, he doesn't like me telling on him so you will have to talk to him about that!  For now, look up Ping Pong Battle, the 3D version...  Yup, that was all Spencer. Well, just the making it work part.  The designers and 3D team came up with the pictures and graphics.

I am pregnant, and feeling it!  This has been my healthiest pregnancy by far and I am so glad!  We are having this baby at home and I am stoked!  A lot went into that decision, but it will be worth it!

More thoughts to come!!

I guess it's about time for an update!

Sooo, I have slacked on the blogging lately due to one very significant reason...  I am now expecting our THIRD child!  I am due Feb 26th and am on week 13 right now.  I never thought I would say that at my age and seeing as I have only been married 3 years... lol.  I did the math and according to my calculations, and if all goes as planned, when this baby is born I will have been pregnant for 27 of the 50 months we will have been married at that point.  That is more than half of our marriage.  And the other half has been spent desperately trying to get my high school body back. Which since I lost ten pounds of pre pregnancy weight after Alice and then got ten pounds off my wedding weight after Norah, I am pretty sure I will finally reach my goal after baby number 3 since I only had ten pounds to go when I found out I was pregnant. I just want to make it clear that I had never intended nor planned to have kids so soon after getting married or to have so many so close, but as long as we are praying and following the Lord's council on how our family will progress I guess nothing will according to my plan now will it?  That has been a hard lesson to learn.

I started training for a 5k back in May right after my last post.  I was running pretty consistently and successfully ran my first 5k on June 26th, unbeknownst to me the reason I felt like puking the whole time was because I was pregnant and hadn't eaten anything... lol.  9 days later I was scheduled to run the Freedom 10k, which I did, but with the knowledge I was pregnant, so I made sure to eat before hand and drink lots of water.. what a difference! Anyway, so with that under my belt I wanted to continue training for a half marathon in August, but I just couldn't surpass the training I had done to that point.  So my goal is the American Fork Canyon half marathon next summer.

Spencer has been blessed with tons of experience at work, and has been going camping all summer since he is the Scoutmaster in our ward.  He seems to have a great time and really enjoys camping.  I am hoping we can go as a family, but losing out on one Saturday a month is already hard enough since our house still needs some tending to, but we should make at least one exception I suppose.

Alice is talking soooo much!  She is very protective of Norah, and doesn't let anyone hurt her.  Early on in the summer Spencer would tell her to focus when she would get distracted while eating or when we were trying to discipline her and she couldn't look at us or acknowledge that we were in her face trying to tell her why she was in time out or how to behave.  Anyway, I made the comment that she wouldn't understand that phrase, "Focus, Alice." Not even a week later was I cooking and Alice was having fun eating the dried noodles while she waited for dinner.  Well, I was unable to replenish her supply in a timely manner and she start patting me saying "Focus, Mommy, focus!  More noodle!"  I laughed so hard.  She says it all the time now.  That impatient little bug! She is saying funny things all the time, but my favorite is that she is getting helpful and not only destructive.  She can count to 11 by herself and sing the ABC's, every week she comes home singing a new song from Nursery.  From nursery she knows the Wise man and the Foolish man, I love to see the Temple, I am a child of God, Popcorn Popping, Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam, and there may be one or two more.  I am teaching her nursery rhymes and more of the kid songs at home.  I do sing the nursery ones with her too, but I want her to know all the songs that I grew up with!

Norah is walking!  She tries to say some words, but Mama is the only one she ever actually says.  She can say Alice, but it sounds more like Ice.  She says Dada too, but not to often.  But she started saying more and all done, but I didn't know that is what they were for a while.  Sounds more like mo' and a'duh. lol.  She learned how to get up from the floor instead of crawling to a wall or piece of furniture to get back up if she falls.  Oh and in other news, she is a breath holder.  By that I mean she can get so mad that she doesn't take a breath and then passes out.  Although, I have usually been close to her any time she starts having a fit or gets hurt and I can blow in her face to get her to breathe, but yesterday she fell and I was clearing the table so I let her whine.  To this point I didn't know she was capable of holding her breath for longer than normal.  I am used to the whole turn purple because you get hurt and hold your breath but then take a deep breath and scream...  You know, like when a child bumps their head in church and you root for the parent to win the race between them and the scream to the door...  Anyway, so she turned purple took a slight breath but then continued to be purple until she went pasty white with blue toes, fingers, and lips and she fell forward still not breathing and then once her face hit the floor she started breathing... the second she started falling and turning white I started running.  This was what I was waiting for.  We suspected from the beginning that she would be the one to inherit Spencer's breath holding gene...  And we were right.  The last several days she has finally started showing significant amounts of emotion so I think this is why it didn't happen til now.

Anyway, when she passes out there is nothing we can do but let her body start breathing again.  I hope she is the only child that has this problem.  They say they will grow out of it, but it isn't easy to watch your child turn all white and blue and then pass out.  I am just glad it didn't last for more than a second, but it seemed to take forever for her color to come back to her little body.

Well, that is all I have time for today!  More updates to come!  And pictures!

I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!

That is all...  but to emphasize the excitement here is a picture at our evening after Mother's Day dinner.  We have decided to make this a tradition since my last three Mother's Days haven't gone exactly as planned.

This is Us.

Spencer 24, Ashley 18

So these pictures were taken of us shortly before we met.  We had no knowledge of the other's existence, yet...  Spencer was losing hope of ever finding someone, and I was getting ready to serve a mission.  I was living in Austin, TX going to the University of Texas and working as a massage therapist.  I met Spencer in late June, he was home from BYU for the summer, but I had a boyfriend at the time so nothing happened with us then...  Well, that boyfriend and I broke up shortly thereafter, and Spencer asked me out on our first date three days later.

The Sunday after we got engaged.

I remember the night he asked me out.  I had come home early from somewhere and was going to skip Institute (a bible study class) and just go to bed early.  I woke up at 7 pm on the dot and could NOT get back to sleep.  Since Institute had already started I decided to just go and sit in the back, I don't know what possessed me to give up my battle with trying to get back to sleep, I like to think Alice and Norah had something to do with it....  Well, the Bishop so happened to be there that night so I approached him about wanting to go on a mission, and he was able to start getting the paperwork ready that night.  Well, after Institute let out I started talking to a group of my friends and Spencer was among them...  they all invited us to Pluckers and I didn't have to try very hard to get Spencer to go...  remember I was officially single at the time so flirting was part of the game....  Spencer was not a night person by any means...  but he came, and I knew he came because I asked him.  I even conveniently didn't understand the directions to Pluckers so he ended up taking me.  I thought he was cute, but he went to BYU and would be gone in less than two months so I thought it was harmless.  Anyway, that night he asked me on a date.  It was either him or the Singles activity, so I picked him.  That night I went in to talk to my roommate Tressa about my day, the impossible early bedtime, my mission, and Spencer.  I made a resolve to not go on any other dates after the one with Spencer since I was going to put full focus on my mission.  One more date, I thought to myself, then no more boys.  How real that came to be... just not exactly how I'd planned...

The Monday after we got engaged.

Spencer and I had a marvelous first date.  I ended the night by showing him my mission papers just in case he got the courage to push any further dates.  The fact that we had held hands, though, didn't help that much...  Then came the worst 5 days of our lives.  Saturday came and he texted me and I took all day to respond...  Sunday came and I had a run in with the ex boyfriend and was a wreck so I never texted or called Spencer back after our last correspondence, but at that point the ball was in my court...  I was supposed to call him when I had time.  I didn't want him to be a rebound, I already really liked him...  I couldn't get him out of my head.  Then finally Wednesday came, I was on my way home from my new job stopped at 15th and I35, and I was still lamenting over the things my ex had told me he really didn't like about me....  my randomness, my ditziness, how I can sometimes be two conversations behind, how I don't always get jokes, etc.  And then the strongest feeling came over me and the thought, "But Spencer already loves those things about me."  I was overwhelmed.  I had to call him.  I went home told my roommate that I needed to call him and she had just seen him the night before and told me he seemed uninterested, or at least he thought I was, so he was going to move on.  I couldn't take that...  so I called him, I apologized, and we talked.... a lot... I had plans that night, but I cut them a little short.  He was sick so I saw him early the next afternoon...  And then the next day, and the next and just about every day until he went back to school.

The cover to our wedding announcement! 

The week after we started talking again I knew I was in for it.  He was so funny and respectful, nice and sweet, he laughed at my quirks and adored me, and I absolutely adored him. Still do.  We kissed on Aug. 1st and that was the beginning of our steady relationship.  That weekend he met my family as my friend and they all like him right off the bat...  the words marriage prospect even left my mom's mouth, and my dad liked how honorable he seemed to be.  Funny side note, we were holding hands in my parent's ward that Sunday and the Sunday School teacher caught us off guard and basically told him to put a ring on my finger ASAP...  haha, my mom laughed when the story got back to her, and that teacher was not surprised when I showed up a couple months later with just that!

Yes, you read that right...  a couple months...

The last weekend he was in town before he had to leave for school, I was in San Antonio and he was in Austin.  I knew if I had asked him to come he would have, but I wanted to see if I could handle myself.  haha.  I fell in love with him that weekend.  That was when I knew he really was that one person I would spend the rest of eternity with.  I even told my bishop that.  My bishop even told me I shouldn't turn down a proposal if it came, he had known Spencer over the years and deemed him a very honorable young man.

Wedding Day!!  12-27-2007

Well, Spencer left on August 30th, and I couldn't take it...  so we made plans for him to come the first weekend in October.

We talked all the time, and we found skype such a reliable tool!  I was still preparing for a mission since I was not going to stay behind for a boyfriend.  Sooo...  that fateful weekend arrived and Spencer not only asked my dad if he could take my hand, he asked me to be his wife.  I said yes of course! We were married just two and a half months later.  Looking back, I know we jumped into things, but I wouldn't change it for the world!  So many blessing have come from our marriage, and it is only getting better.  I guess you could say we are crazy, but at least it is about each other!

And they lived happily ever after